Limbo (Part 1)

My host mom Matebogo, my sister Joyce and I sat outside for some time after the fire discussing what had happened and the future of the school kids. Where would they learn now? Would they have to hold classes under trees? How would any of that work when all the books had been reduced to ashes? Would they still be able to write their exams at the end of the term? How would the principal react? ( The principal of the School was away at a funeral at the time and I was certain he had no idea what had happened. I had tried to call him, but, naturally, he was unreachable.) No one knew.

One thing I did know for sure. There was no way I would be allowed to continue working in Bona-Bona. I had already once been evacuated during the havoc that ensued after the first demonstration in October of last year. After receiving the news, my Peace Corps Supervisor had made it plain that I would be evacuated from the village the very next day, and shouldn’t count on returning. Some time before I had explained to my host mother that there was a chance that I might be moved to a new village if things escalated, but I hadn’t really expected them to. Now, with the security officer already on his way from the capital to pick me up, I could find neither the words nor the heart to tell Ma T that I was leaving—likely for good. I used the afternoon to hurriedly pack a bag with enough things to last me at least 2 weeks. After id finished I sat for a long while staring at that bag and trying to work out how id explain to my family what was about to happen.

 It wasn’t until the next morning that I worked up the courage to approach Ma T. In the best Setswana I could muster, I told her that I was going away and did not know when or if I would return. She nodded as I explained, a somber look on her face. I could tell she was not happy about the news. I think she knew it was not very likely that id return. That afternoon, when the white SUV arrived to take me away she helped me carry my things out to the car. I gave her a long embrace. I’ll probably be back in two week, if only to get the rest of my things, I thought to myself. Then I’ll say a decent goodbye. She stood watching from the gate as the car drove away. I waved back to her. It will be okay. This isn’t the last goodbye. We drove past the charred shell of the high school as we left the village. It seemed so surreal.

I was under the very naïve impression at the time that the process of being relocated would be brief—a few weeks at best—and I would have at least a few days’ time to dismantle my life in Bona-Bona. Little did I know that I was just at the beginning of what would become a rather long period of waiting in uncertainty; a two month state of limbo riddled with hopes, disappointments, spells of boredom, and unexpected adventures. I had served in Bona-Bona for just about the year and now would be crossing that all important threshold at the one year mark. It is usually the point at which volunteers begin to feel settled at their sites and their carefully nurtured projects start to bear some fruit. I had no idea that at my 1 year mark I’d be busy starting all over again. It is a most disconcerting thought—knowing that a years’ worth of effort would literally vanish in a puff of smoke and that two months of service were essentially lost. At the same, however, I can say that limbo has turned out to be an invaluable and unique experience that has made my service twice as interesting as it would have otherwise been. 

My journey began with a visit to another volunteer, who is working just 2 villages away from Bona-Bona. I found it quite remarkable that just a few kilometers away from the flat, white sanded veld of my village there was this place of red sand, green trees and sandstone cliffs. It was a much smaller village than mine. With its low brick houses interspersed with mud-walled, thatched shelters it had the quaint and romantic feel of what one would typically associate with Peace Corps service.  Aside from the pleasure of tasting life in a village other than mine, it was a real treat to see another volunteer in action. I had not known this particular volunteer very well prior to my visit, but found her to be a most gracious hostess and devoted teacher. She has been dedicating her service to personally instructing the students in grades 4-7 and the difference she has made in the learning environment and attitude of the learners is palpable. Having the opportunity to observe her teaching…and even struggling with learners at times somehow inspired and motivated me. Firstly, because it reminded me that I am not alone in any challenges I face, and secondly, because I can see what a difference it makes. When we are in the midst of or work and all the frustrations it’s easy to lose sight of that. I made myself useful there for 2 weeks teaching Social Studies classes and helping to grade papers. But then circumstances intervened and sent me off on my first unexpected adventure… assisting Peace Corp in training the new volunteers—who had arrived only 2 weeks before.