So now it comes down to it. I’ve arrived at that pivotal moment which all of my training and observation, planning and preparation have been geared towards. Schools here are opening in about a week, at which time the rubber will have to meet the road. All the things that have until now only played out in my head must be willed into reality. I’ve been looking forward to this very moment for years (literally!) and now that i am confronted with it i feel but one thing: utter terror! Doubts are swirling about in my mind: Can i really do this? How is this supposed to work? What if they don’t like my ideas? What if my projects die a premature death?....and on and on. I don’t know how many of you understand how it feels to have the expectations of an entire village resting on your shoulders, whilst knowing for a fact that the scope of the issues they are facing is far beyond you capacity to solve. You see, in rural South Africa they have a huge problem of the relationship between "this" and "that." ...What do i mean you ask? I shall explain...but first to do so, i digress a little...
I first read about the issue of "this" and "that" in a book by Rob Bell. The book had mostly to do with male/female relationships, but i find the concept has a much broader application. The problem for humans beings he wrote is that "this" (that is...whatever issue or behavior we are dealing with over here) is always connected to "that" (i.e. some other issue or problem in another area.) Indeed, all of life is like that, but especially in South Africa. "This" one problem--for example, children’s underperformance in school--is invariably linked to "that" other problem, or problems--such as lack of proper parenting (or any parenting at all!), bad nutrition, abuse in the home etc. As you can imagine that makes for a bewildering and often dishearteningly complicated challenge for one such as myself, who comes seeking to help and make some sort of positive impact on the lives of the children and families in these communities.
I have come mainly to try improve standards of education; to help teachers teach better and students learn better. But how can i help example student A improve his grades at school if he has no one at home to help him with homework or encourage him, or if he isn’t getting enough food and therefore falling asleep in class? To help that one student with "this" (improving his grades) id realistically have to tackle all the "thats" as well (getting him proper food, building a network of social support.) Now multiply this one student’s dilemma by 600 students and you’ll understand why getting started working here is such a horrifyingly daunting task!
How can i try to pick 2 or 3 noodles out of a bowl of spaghetti without getting more that i can chew and buckling under the weight?...How can i be effective even in light of the problem of "this" and "that?"....
I totally hear you Nelly, and I think it's safe to say a lot of other volunteers are having similar thoughts at this time. And I thought I was done with start-of-school anxiety after graduating! Way wrong. I think that during our month away from site we'd kind of forgotten the extent of "village life challenges" and now that we're back the transition seems very abrupt and intimidating. Try to keep things in perspective: Even if we as volunteers are highly motivated, skilled and organized we're still working against decades of severe oppression with a 6 month crash-course and minimal resources. It's not a cake walk, so don't get bummed if you feel hindered by circumstances. There's no easy answer to the "this and that" problem, but anything you do is a step forward. Remember that even tiny victories can be incredibly satisfying; one student asking a good question, or one parent's sincere thanks can make a day 100% successful in my book. Attitude is our biggest asset here, so keep your spirits up and you'll do fine!
ReplyDelete-James